Questions for: THE COP
[The Cop to SHO!:] First off, sorry to burst your bubble, buddy, but I'm not actually what you'd call a cop. Maybe you'd call me a rent-a-cop, though I think that's pretty disrespectful. I'm a hired park officer with minimal law enforcement training, not an actual member of the police force. And addressing the question, I can't say I've seen any reports of a particular missing kid--this is New York, pal, kids go missing every day--but I don't know what I was supposed to do different. I was gonna help this little kid who seemed to be swimming in a fountain all alone, but that bizarre thing happened where she launched out of the water naked as a jaybird and started floating at me like a ghost. I still think about it and wonder if I really saw it. Backing away and being scared shitless seems like a natural reaction, wouldn't you say? I feel terrible if someone's lost their child, but if I ever come across her again, I'll be sure to pass her over to the first Martians that come along wanting their kid back, I promise. Ya happy?